Cute or HR?

My boss forwarded me an email asking for directions to a hotel. I scrolled down to read the email he had forwarded which was from a client who owns that particular hotel. The email said “I’ll get you a free room, but no space docking in my hotel!”

Um, just Google it.

My co-worker, above me in title, once handed me a manila folder containing two 8×10 head-shots of me. He said he had one on his fridge.

Eons ago, I had a boss who called me a “little slut” as a matter of course. Only because I wasn’t married and therefore not yet qualified to be called a “remorseless whore.”

Both were terms of endearment and she was a top notch boss and mentor.

Man, I miss her.

Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) says that at a staffer’s wedding, another staffer joked that Massa “should be chasing after the bridesmaid.” Massa says he cleverly retorted “Well, what I really ought to be doing is fracking you.”

• Massa says Democratic leaders want him out

Massa’s calling it a conspiracy to oust him over health care reform.

• Former congressman Massa says Democrats set him up over health care

So was it harmless banter and a political setup? Or harassment followed by grandstanding?

In recounting PETA’s protest of the recent Westminster dog show to my supervisor, I’m explaining how they ran into the middle of the stage in the last minutes of the competition.

Supervisor: “Were they naked?”

In the restroom, taped to the mirror, was a handwritten sign: “It takes just 15 minutes for asparagus to make your pee smell funny. Why not try some today?”

On the shelf under the mirror, behind the sinks, was a plate of steamed asparagus.

From Overheard in the Newsroom:

City Editor about impending snowfall: “8 to 10 inches before midnight.”

Female Copy Editor: “I’ll take it!”

Our CEO’s former assistant was…um…difficult. And inappropriate.

The Day Before
Her: Have you lost weight? You look so skinny!
Me (secretly – and very early – into my pregnancy and loving the compliment): No! Must just be these black pants or something. Thanks!

The Next Day
[the secret is now out]
Her: So…I heard the news. Congratulations! How exciting!
Me: Thank you.
Her: I thought your tits looked bigger.
Me: [speechless]

Male: Is there going to be bad weather tomorrow?

Female: Weatherman says 3 – 6 inches is coming?

Male: When was the last time you believed a man who told you 3-6 inches was coming?

So idiot boss tries to explain why guy got bigger title/salary: “You get things done, but he has vision.”
Me: “But he doesn’t DO anything.”
Boss: “Right. That’s why we need you here.”